Sometimes we experience an event that changes our point of view on the world. This is how we evolve and shape into the beings we are at present, bouncing from one event to the next like a pin ball in a machine.
Some of them small.
Some of them large.
and some bad.
It has taken me a while to put this into words. I have gone through a string of emotions since the event took place. Violated and left to feel disgusted in my own home. I have thoughts I need to get out and tips I hope to share. I would give anything if I could keep this from happening to us or anyone else.
Two days after Christmas I was happily spending time with my boys as Barry took off another day of work to be with Henry and I. We decided to go on an afternoon date to see a movie which is a rare occasion. We were gone a few hours and returned home. I stepped out of the car to get Henry out of his car seat when I spotted our back window to the house wide open.
My heart sank to my feet and back up again. As I yelled for Barry and pointed. We immediately scrambled back into the car, hearts pounding as I reversed our car down the driveway. We parked on the street and dialed 911.
Sitting inside a neighbors house we waited for the police to arrive. I was completely sick to my stomach, scared, and then it amplified as the THUD THUD THUD "This is the police are you in there!?" rang out against my house.
Thoughts ran to Keightley and I was delighted when they found a safe puppy dog whose only injury was emotional as he sat shaking like a leaf. I don't know that I've ever been so happy to see him.
We were robbed. Middle of the day. Neighbors home all around us. Doors and windows locked. Robbed.
Both of my jewlery boxes were emptied completely of there contents. The only thing remainding was a St. Jude prayer card I received from my grandparents and a guardian angel silver token I got as a gift when I was a child. Our baby video monitor swiped from my night stand and even the pillow case I lay my head on each night was not safe from his hands.
I have a sick feeling in my stomach when I think of the memories behind some of that jewlery. Gifts and heirlooms from my parents, grandparents, sisters, and husband. Gone. But worse than anything that sparkled or shined...............my security and safety, stolen right out from under my own roof. There is no hope of finding that in some dingy pawn shop somewhere, no it's gone forever.
I am now skeptical of every car that drives by. Every bump in the night sends my heart pounding out of my chest. I don't want to fall asleep. With curtains drawn, I sit in fear that someone is watching. And now I'm challenged, not to judge every person who fits the loose dirty description of the man who walked down our street that day. and What if he comes back?
My mind can't stop racing to the questions I have in my head. If I had been home with Henry I wouldn't have answered the door (I never do). What if I had been in the nursery feeding him? I wouldn't have gotten up for a knock and would have only known what was happening when I heard them enter my house. THEN WHAT? Was this person armed? I will assume that they were. Brazen and bold as they walked right out my front door to exit.
I know that this could have been worse, and if you ever watch the news you see that evil happens on the daily. But I guess until now I have lived in a bubble of sorts. I knew there were bad people out there but it was on the outside. The knowledge that someone can, and did, come into my home is unsettling beyond words.
Since the day it happened I have thought of this man, and I have prayed for him. When I feel most on edge or scared this is what comforts me. To do something like this he has to be in a bad place, a dark place in his life. Maybe he stole for drug money, but maybe he stole to put food in the mouths of his children. Regardless I pray that he turns his life around so that he can live the kind of life people are meant to, and so nothing like this happens again at least not by his hands.
December 26th. That night I rocked Henry till he fell asleep in my arms and I kept him there for over an hour. Crying. Praying. Thinking. I felt such a great contrast from inside that room as I held something so perfect and pure. I wish I could protect him from everything outside of that sweet serene little room. Can we stay in here forever? I couldn't help but think about the man who robbed us too. He has a mother somewhere. Did she hold him and look at his perfection when he was young? Surely her heart is broken if she knows the path he is on. But maybe he didn't have a mom. Or he did but she wasn't there to rock him at night, instead she was out living a hard life. Regardless, it's hard to wrap my head around how and where people go wrong. But it happens because the truth is we are all imperfect creatures. Made perfect through God's love and sacrifice.