For several weeks I let myself get out of control stressed out. Work was not just happening at school in my classroom, it was stalking me all the way home to my couch every night for hours.
Add to that the fact that I teach BarreAmped classes too and don't get home till 7 or 8 on those nights. Add the weekly natural birthing classes at BabyMoon and the "homework readings" that go with it.
Oh and what's that you say doula? You want me to practice relaxation and breathing techniques?
Can you define relax and where I can find it?
All multiplied by the fact that there was this little thing called being pregnant and preparing a space for a baby.....which is a lot of work when you have to figure out how to make a small space fit all their stuff.
All of this meant that I was not focused on the things that matter, like the enjoyment of being pregnant in the first place. Poor Barry saw me break more than once and lovingly listened to my snotty nosed tears as I blubbered about how "I can't do it all!"
Then suddenly it hit me. I shouldn't have to. I'll get done what I can in a day but there are certain things I can't negotiate anymore:
1. time for God.
2. time to tell/show Barry I love him.
3. Enjoy this amazing blessing of being pregnant. I will never get to experience this in the same way as I am now and I am making a vow to baby Henry and myself not to let another sweet moment of it pass me by without notice.
So I'll take more time to dance in the living room with all of my boys from now on. It's my favorite. How many other times in my life can I dance with two boys at once without looking like a floosy? eh? :) So turn up the Frank Sinatra and Charles Mingus please.
I love it. And i love you and my little nephew. Happy mommy = happy baby :)
ReplyDeleteHope you are relaxing a bit more and enjoying these last few months of being an adorable preggo! :)
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