The Rabbit Hole-Otherwise known as I'm Pregnant

A look back to the beginning of our journey and my thoughts.....

Today, Friday, August 19th I fell into a rabbit hole.  

At the other end I found myself feeling more unusual than the norm.  My monthly punctuation was acting like the White Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland.

I found myself curious about where the white rabbit was.  So I nonchalantly took a test.  My jaw completely dropped as I went to check the results.  Not believing or understanding how to read the lines. ( ya know one, two, so confusing right?)  In that state of mind it was.  One dark line, one faint line, what is this half a baby?  So test two, and then Saturday morning, test three and well I guess something's going on huh?  

I can't explain the feelings that followed.  

I was excited and happy feeling God had blessed us with answered prayers.  Yet I was scared and timid about what would come next.
" I can't be far along."
"So many things could happen." "I wonder if it's healthy?"
"I hope I can handle this."
"Is the sky blue or is it yellow?""Do I walk on the ceiling or the floor?"
"How will this affect my grad school?"
"I hope I don't get sick."  "I hope I get sick so I know there is a baby there."
  "What color are it's eyes?"  "Wait does it have eyes?"
"Can I take this allergy medicine?"
  "Barry will you finish that bottle of wine I opened last night?"
And they kept on.  And kept on.  And well they haven't stopped.

I realize now I know nothing about babies, or being pregnant, or what's happening in my body.  So I'm finding myself scouring baby websites, and downloading pregnancy apps searching for information.  

All the while I'm having to remind myself, Convince, myself I'm pregnant.  Because it truly feels as if I have fallen down the rabbit hole into another dimension.  An out of body experience, only maybe it's a someone's in my body experience?  

Barry and I are excited, but still in shock.  It is slowly sinking in.  I pray for a healthy, happy, God fearing baby.  I pray for the strength and understanding to go through whatever journey lies ahead.  Whatever happens with this baby I pray for God to show us his will and path for us.  I pray we are good parents.  And I tear up thinking about it.