Thirty - five and I feel so alive.
Turning thirty, I had one sweet baby boy who grew my world into a whole new way of life. The woman who once wondered if she ever wanted children, found herself giving up the career she had just gained her masters for to stay home and love him. Over the past five years I have sailed the seas deep into the ocean of motherhood, gaining two more earthly babies to care for and love. That love has grown in an abundance that reaches far outside my own reach and into the realm of God's gracious agape gifts.
Half way through my thirties there's no place I would rather be than this man's wife and these children's mother. It is my greatest honor and gift; raising these precious lives God so graciously allows me to be a part of. Here at this mid point, I have begun to realize I'm incapable of being the mama I long to be on my own. Running on coffee fumes and trying to discipline children, cook dinner, make the crafts, and put clothes on all the people can catch up to ya. Parenting must be God's favorite tool to use when sharpening his Children's spiritual desire for Him, Lord I need you. I need you to remind me I need you, I need you to grow my patience, to soften my words, to grow my grace, and to allow me to love like you do.
I have felt a push to slow this time in my life down, which is a thousand times harder than I could imagine. As I listen to His call on how to delight and grow in the gifts he has given I have a feeling there will be far more RSVP's answered no than yes, there will be career ladders left to climb another day, and hair that will continue to see far more messy buns than styling tools. This season is precious and messy and wonderful and I'm soaking in this beautiful celebration, thirty five years of love.
